I am S.A.D.

It’s here. After a fabulously warm (and dry!) autumnal month, winter has finally arrived. Midway through October isn’t bad. It certainly makes it more bearable when I remember what a ridiculously hot summer we had this year - I almost (almost!) bought a fan. However, winter is back with a vengeance, and I for one am readying my battle-station for the coming months.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love a sunny and crisp winter’s day: the hot-water bottles, the rain pattering on the window as I’m snug on the sofa - a blanket burrito, cup of tea in hand - I love all of that. But the reality of the situation is that not every day is going to be sunny, and I won’t be able to curl up on the sofa every time it rains. And so, as the days get shorter and the skies get darker, I hold my breath, waiting, as slowly but surely the familiar mood dips start encroaching.

Let me introduce you to SAD, otherwise known as Seasonal Affective Disorder: a type of depression that comes and goes in a seasonal pattern. Whether it’s because I grew up on the Mediterranean coast where it’s rain we pray for (my mother actually owns a rain-stick), or whether it’s due to my susceptibility to mental illness, or whether it’s both of these combined, I can confidently say that I suffer from SAD, and winter is my kryptonite. As the colder months drag on, I become withdrawn and lose the will to leave the house, and there are days when I will be so cold and miserable that getting out of my pyjamas will feel as impossible as completing a marathon (I never have been, and never will be, a jogger). Last year was one of the worst and longest winters I remember since moving to the UK, and with it came some of the lowest mood dips I’ve had in a while. It felt pretty brutal.

And so, this year, sword and shield in hand, I swore that it would be different, and so I created a battle-plan. Hopefully sharing it will help other fellow SADers out there, and together we can emerge at the other end a little less battered, and a little more triumphant.

#1: Winter Sun

I’m going to start with the most bougie option: chasing that winter sun.

One possible factor in the onset of SAD is a deficiency of vitamin D - specifically vitamin D3 - which is mostly produced by our body’s reaction to sunlight. Although much research has gone into it, there is no conclusive evidence linking vitamin D deficiency and mood disorders; even so, listening to your body is key. For me, sunlight is a crucial part of my diet. One of my five-a-day, if you will. If I’ve spent a day in the sun, I feel energised, happy, I can do anything. One week cooped up indoors with rain-clouds permanently overhead will always, without fail, make my mood drop.

This year, therefore, part one of my plan was to book a holiday half-way through winter. After convincing Sam that he also needed to get away, we booked a week-long diving break in the Caribbean for the first week of February. Step one of my plan: check. Now, going this far and this adventurous was our choice. I wanted to chase heat as well as sunlight, and Sam had just got his diving licence, so it felt like the perfect thing to do, but there are definitely more affordable options out there, and it always pays to keep an eye out for off-season holiday bargains. £50 return flights to Malta or Barcelona aren’t uncommon at this time, and a long weekend away in the sun will work wonders for your mental health. Even better? You have something to look forward to. I cannot stress the positive effects of this enough; having something concrete that I can be excited about really tempers that feeling of being in an inescapable purgatory (who’s dramatic?) and it’s a really nice feeling to have.

#2: Activities

In the vein of looking forward to things, smaller everyday plans also help me cope with SAD: a weekly coffee meet-up; an art class (some museums offer free weekly drawing sessions); a planned Netflix binge with a bowl of popcorn and a few hot drinks (whether they’re laced with Baileys is up to you). Hop on a train with a friend and go explore that town you’ve always meant to visit (thermals on, obviously). It doesn’t have to be big or expensive, but I’ve found that I’m already developing much more positive associations with winter just by doing this, and I've made some really nice memories out of some of these excursions. It’s lessened the feeling I get in winter that I’m stuck in Groundhog Day; it helps time move forward and keeps my perspective in check.

#3: Exercise

Exercise is good for your brain as well as your body. That post-workout endorphin rush can be a massive boost for your mood, but in winter we tend to become a lot less active. It can be hard to get motivated when the sky is constantly grey, you’re freezing as soon as you drag yourself out of bed, and every time you leave the house you end up getting rained on. Add to this the negative associations many have with the word ‘exercise’ thanks to toxic ‘beauty’ culture, and it's no wonder exercise is the first thing to get dropped when we're feeling blue.

On that note, I want to talk about Bryony Gordon. For those who don't know her, she's an advocate of self-love and body positivity, and a fantastic author, and she’s really put the way I feel about exercise into words: the sooner you start looking at exercise as the good feeling you get at the end of it, the sooner you’ll start enjoying it. Don’t do it to burn calories. Don’t force yourself onto a treadmill because it’s what you ‘should be doing’. Instead, try to find what works for you. I’ve gone from team sports to martial arts to dancing to yoga. Dancing and yoga are the two things that have stuck. They both require coordination, so they keep my brain busy and stop it from thinking too much about the grey skies outside, and I can see progress on a personal level which makes me feel great (I can finally touch my toes with straight legs!). It took me a few runs to find what worked for me, so don't give up if the first thing you try doesn't click. YouTube is a great place to trial different forms of exercise for free: a bottomless pit of all things video, there’s nothing you can’t find, from 10-minute to hour-long workouts, with titles ranging from "sleepy morning stretches" to "death cardio blast extreme”. And the best thing with these is that you don't need to leave the house to do them, and you still get that lush endorphin rush at the end of it all.

#4: Dress to Impress

I am somebody who, when feeling down, cannot fathom the point of getting out of my pyjamas, particularly when it’s grey and cold. Mostly, to be honest, when it’s grey and cold. I will leave the house only when absolutely necessary, in month-old joggers and the baggiest jumper I can find, layers of scraggy t-shirts bulking me up beneath it, hat on hair that hasn’t been washed all week and tired eyes masked by glasses. The problem is, on a day when I’m already feeling down, this just makes me feel worse. It may sound small or silly, but I have noticed an indisputable difference between when I get out of bed, splash my face with (hot) water and swap my pyjamas for day-wear, and when I don’t. The fact of the matter is this: how you look affects how you perceive yourself, your mood, and therefore how you feel. That doesn’t mean you have to wake up, put on your best frock, get those curlers in action and put on a full face of make-up - even just washing your face and brushing your teeth can help you feel fresher, more alert and more in control of your day. Changing out of your jammies will amplify the feeling. If I'm not leaving the house, I like to pull on a casual jumper and a pair of yoga-pants (the Aladdin-type of yoga-pants, you know the ones). Simple, but effective: wearing clothes that are strictly a no-bed-zone changes my mindset and sets a more productive tone for the day. I will be honest, this is the one I struggle with the most, and the one I let slip first, which is also why exercise is so important to me: it gets me out of my pyjamas.

Honestly?

SAD really sucks. There’s no halfway about it. However, I’ve genuinely noticed a real positive change by incorporating these habits into my day-to-day, even if some days it’s just washing my face, touching my toes once, and donning my Aladdin-pants. I’ve found I can get through winters not only much more positively, but with a lot more self-reliance. I come out the other end a tired warrior, but a happier one.

Practice makes perfect, and day by day, week by week, and winter by winter, the coping strategies that work for you can become happy little habits that you pick up and that you can keep practicing throughout the year or set aside for next winter when you need them again. And always remember: winter does not last forever. One day at a time, slowly but surely, spring and ultimately that glorious summer sun will always, always, creep back in. No metaphor here, just a genuine reference to sunshine.