Gravitas

People always gravitated towards her. She had an inexplicable force, a magnetism that was difficult to explain, but undeniable. It wasn’t anything in particular. She didn't stand out from a crowd. She wasn’t devilishly witty, or outlandishly beautiful. Those who knew where to look saw she carried with her a quiet shyness, which she hid behind a cascade of smiles. She kept her distance, delicately. And yet, and yet, wherever she went, people were drawn to her. She was magnetic.

For this very reason, she was one of the loneliest people around.

They say the loneliest people are the often the kindest. That the saddest people smile the brightest. They know what it’s like to drown in a sea of silence, whilst laughing amongst an ocean of people. She had felt the splintering pain of self-doubt and fear. And because of this, because of all this, she gave everything to protect others from the same darkness she walked through every day.

Usually, most of the time, she would keep a little bit of herself safely locked away. A sliver of hope to reach for when she needed it, to nurture, to grow, to share out again. Sometimes, though, sometimes, she forgot.

No. She never forgot. But sometimes, somebody, needed her, that little bit of her she had kept behind. And she didn’t hesitate, never hesitated, to give it away. And these times, she would break.

She would crumble, shatter, pieces scattering across endless space, and she would have to run, run into the dark oblivion that she usually kept at bay, dive into the abyss where nothing could touch her. Behind smiles, and laughter, she fell. Unsure, every time, how long it would take to get back.

She was a ghost, and a sun.